So much of my life has been spent baring my heart to people who were undeserving of it. My pattern was the same every time. I’d invest fully into relationships with people who were minimally invested in me. I was always empathetic, seeing people for their highest potential, peeling back the layers of my soul in hopes of being understood. This vicious cycle continued on for most of my life. It took a few really rough falls for me to truly understand how precious my heart is.
My biggest take away was that we should only share our deepest layers with those who have earned the right to experience them. The battle to become my best self is a challenging one and with it has come many obstacles and lessons that have helped shape me. It takes great time and effort to nurture and sustain this loving relationship with myself and I don’t take that lightly. Each time I give myself away to someone undeserving of me I lose a piece of myself. I’ve been in many dead end relationships were I’ve depleted myself completely. Each time I walked away I picked up the pieces and began back on that road to self love.
I now value my relationship with myself in a much deeper way because I understand how much resilience, love, compassion, forgiveness, and determination it takes to maintain it. It is with great reverence that I choose who I share myself with on an intimate soul level. I try to always connect with people from an authentic space. I used to struggle with that in relationships because I’d often place the person I cared for on a pedestal which in turn would create this idea of separateness and block any possibility for true intimacy. Relationships should feel balanced. They should be a flow of give and take. And just like you should give to those you care about, you should also allow space to receive from them. A healthy relationship should lift you up and make you feel good, and this includes your relationship with yourself. I’ve seen far too many people including myself give themselves away to people who could never appreciate and value them in the way they deserve. The best way to change that is to begin acknowledging how much effort and work it has taken to be who you are and to honor you and your journey.
Relationships aren’t mean to be “tolerated” they are meant to be invigorating and add deep value to your life. My message in all of this isn’t to deter you from taking chances and sharing your truth but to do so with reverence. Relationships are a closed envelope. As much as we may try to anticipate and control there is always a risk involved and that’s ok. It’s part of life’s beauty. But before you share the deepest layers of your beautiful, valuable, and divine heart take a moment to evaluate. Is this person truly worthy of experiencing my deepest layers?