When people ask me who my biggest inspiration is in my life, I will always say it’s my mother. If I could become half the woman she is, then I will be extremely happy. My mother exudes confidence, she is unapologetically herself and is the most giving and loving person I know (other than my father). That being said, I drove my mother crazy (probably still do) and was very stubborn growing up. I would constantly argue with her when all she was trying to do was bless me with her knowledge.
Now, years later, I am a mom and I finally understand everything she repeated to me growing up. In honor of Mother’s Day, I am sharing 9 things I learned from my mother, Clara Sher Hazan.
1. When you grow up, you will understand. She would always say this to me and it drove me fucking insane. No shit, mom! I’m a teenager, I don’t understand what you want from me. She would say this when I was being a total asshole and now that I am a mother myself, I understand. As a mom, you do the best you possibly can to love and give your kids the best life you can give them. At the same time, you are a person, you are fucked up, and you are not perfect. I get this now.
2. “Women are like hurricanes, they come hot and wet and leave with your house and your car.” My mom said this to the rabbi before I got married… Long story short, maybe she was a little bit right with that one.
3. Appreciate and spend time with your parents, one day you will look back and realize it was never enough. Over a decade ago, my grandmother passed away, and for many years my mother, who is not the most emotional person I know, repeatedly said how much she missed her and how much she wished she saw her more (they did see each other a lot). I think we all get so wrapped up in our lives as adults that we forget about the people who brought us into this world. So don’t wait till Mother’s Day to do something nice for mom or dad. Show them love, spend time with them. One day, you will regret not doing so.
4. A man is the head in a relationship, but the woman is the neck. She can move the head to whichever direction she wants.
5. Always leave the house looking your best, not for others but for yourself. When you look good, you’ll feel good and you will have confidence in whatever you are doing. People always ask me why I am always so put together. It’s because I grew up watching my mother get dressed, put makeup on, and wear heels every single day. Even when she was tired or not feeling well, she always made an effort to look good and as a result, she held herself confidently.
6. You can do anything you put your mind to. My mother owned businesses with my father and would work 60+ hours per week. She still managed to make dinner almost every night, keep our home clean, pick us up from school and have date nights with my dad. She is a superwoman.
7. There is no age limit to having fun and an awesome social life. I kid you guys not, on my last visit to Israel to see my parents, they came home later than I do on multiple occasions. They have a more exciting social life than I do!
8. If you are insecure about something and you can afford to make yourself “look better,” do it!
9. Be yourself. She never actually told me these words but my mother is HERSELF. I never saw her try to adapt who she was to anyone. She can be loud, obnoxious, and somewhat judgmental, but she doesn’t care. It’s who she is. It’s who I am, too!
Love you mom.
Happy Mother’s Day.