They say women reach their prime in their 30s and I am a true testament to this fact. I turned 35 a few weeks ago and and never have I ever felt more in touch with myself than I do at this moment.

It’s funny looking back at my 20s when I thought I knew everything I needed to know about life. I didn’t know shit. Not only that, I didn’t have the confidence and self-acceptance I have now. I would even say in the last year, I’ve grown into my own. I started living for myself and not for others. I stopped searching for validation and acceptance from people. Happiness really comes from within.

I wanted to share with my readers the 10 lessons I learned before I turned 35 accompanied with visuals of yours truly looking FIERCE AF. I’m pride to say I’ve never felt or looked better in my life and I am thrilled to share this moment with you guys.

Shot by @5thPhvse

Makeup by @MakeUpbyClaire

1. Go with your gut

Always be honest with yourself. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t right. All too often, people will go against their gut because in that moment, it seems like the right decision. Listen to the pit of your stomach. Trust your intuition and let it guide you.

2. Be unapologetically yourself

This took 3 decades to understand. For many many years, I’ve tried to mold myself to what others expect me to be. Family, friends, relationships, the public, etc. Like everyone, I just wanted to be loved. I thought that by being what people wanted me to be, I would feel loved and thus be happy. FALSE.

Not being true to who you are is like trying to push a balloon under water. It just doesn’t work. The amount of stress you will put yourself through by being someone you’re not because you want to be accepted is not worth it. BE YOU. This lesson is so hard to explain because it’s an obvious thing, right? Well, it’s not. As a mom, a woman in her 30s, an entrepreneur, I am expected to be a certain way. I am put in a box. Human beings are not meant to be one thing. We are complicated.

Accept who you are. Be unapologetically yourself. If the people around you can’t accept that or love you for you, then they don’t deserve your presence.

3. Do not live to please others

I used to be such a people pleaser. I literally revolved my life around making others happy. As a result, my happiness and well being suffered tremendously and in order to deal with the feelings of being a people-pleaser, I developed an eating disorder. Part of being a people-pleaser is never having the courage to stand up for yourself for fear of making others disappointed for fear that others will dislike you as a result of not agreeing with them. This is not ok. Not standing up for yourself and being honest with others will greatly affect your happiness. It is virtually impossible to please everyone, so let it go.

4. Family, Friends and Relationships should be a priority

My father always said to me, when you die, on your tombstone it does not say what title you held, how much money you made. It says the people you left behind. It is a known fact that spending time with loved ones greatly increases happiness. Being around people that you care about and that care about you is extremely fulfilling. We live in a very social world on the internet, but not in real life. Make dinner plans with friends, take that group selfie, but put the phone away. Enjoy the moments with people you love. Call your friends and family frequently. Your followers on instagram  won’t be there for you when you are sick or going through a challenging time.

5. Do things that make you happy

Growing up, I used to have a record collection and it used to make me so happy. I became an adult and sort of abandoned that hobby. I recently bought a record player and have been getting back into it, and it is incredibly fulfilling. Finding time for your hobbies and passions really makes a difference in your overall mental health. We tend to forget who we are in the hustle of bustle of life, we are all overworked, overtired, and the first thing that we give up to make more time is our hobbies. Invest in your happiness. Do something once per day or even once per week that feeds your soul.

6. Take Care of Yourself

It’s obvious but sometimes also the last thing we do. Especially moms. We tend to put others before ourselves – our children, significant others, family members, etc – and we forget to listen to our bodies and take care of ourselves. It’s so incredibly important to invest in your health and mind. This body we have is our vehicle and we need to take care of it! Work out, eat healthy food, sleep, drink water, go for regular check ups, and keep your health and mind in check.

7. Spend money on experiences not things

Do you remember your last trip? Or your last purchase? Buying things makes you happy momentarily. But investing in your memories and experiences will last you a lifetime. I work hard, but I also try and plan trips, outings, getaways or simply try to do something new like a dance class or check out a new art exhibit, I always feel so inspired afterwards.

8. Align yourself with like minded people.

You are the company you keep. I try to surround myself with positive people who are also passionate and go-getters. It motivates me to be around hardworking people as it pushes me to be a better person. I learned that it’s OK to distance yourself from people who tend to be negative. It’s important to notice how you feel around certain people and to stay away from those that make you feel lesser than you should. Don’t waste your energy and time on Debbie Downers.

9. Always think positive and practice gratitude

Every morning when I wake up, I think about how lucky I am to have a roof over my head, a beautiful family, a career that allows me to be me, friends that I have a blast with, and most importantly that I am healthy. Starting my day in a positive mindset allows me to deal with the not-so-positive. Also, whenever something “bad” happens, I try to see the lesson in the experience, and move past it. When you are negative, negative things will keep happening. It’s like digging yourself into a hole. You know those days where everything goes wrong? What if you changed your mindset to what can I learn about today? What can I be grateful for despite my “bad luck?”

When you put positive energy out in the universe, the universe will reciprocate. Just trust it. Work on having a good attitude about life and life will reward you. I promise.

10. You are the driver of your life. If you want things to change, YOU need to make things happen.

If you want things to change in your life, you need to take action. You need to accept that you are responsible for your life. Nothing will happen unless you make them. If you hate your job, do something about it. If you are unhappy in your relationship, do something about it. Sometimes it’s easier for us to remain complacent and hope that things will change for us. But that is not a way to live. Grab life by the balls. Make things happen for you. When I was 30 years old, I started this blog and now I am 35 and still living my dream. So it’s never too late to embark on a new journey!

It goes without saying. Love yourself. Love your skin. Love who you are. Live your best life. Don’t settle for less.