I know I’m usually trying to sell my kids on Craigslist with ads like “2 annoying but cute kids free to a good home,” and telling you how fucking annoying they are. And how much I just need a good shot of tequila and how school breaks kill me… but truth is, I fucking love […]
Parenting: Don’t get mad…get silly!
Unfortunately, we have all experienced that jerkface bully. Weather it’s in the schoolyard, workplace, social circles or the soccer field, we are all victims. A special shout out goes to the Dad on the soccer field last weekend who was telling his kid who got hit to stop crying and if he didn’t play, the […]
Hot Mess Mom Disorder…the struggle is REAL
Well, this might be my best post to date. Because right here, right now, shit is about to get real. Here it comes, are you ready? I am a hot mess. Inspired by a recent snow day, I realized that it is entirely possible that there are days I shouldn’t be allowed to have kids, […]
Dirty Little Secrets of Parenting
Becoming a Mom did not transform me into a calm, patient, earth lady who floats in la la land wearing Birkenstocks, a white flowing dress, and flower crowns in my hair. And it didn’t make me a more organized, power woman who seamlessly juggles work, family, and love without breaking into a sweat every fucking […]
Why I DON’T give two shits about cursing in front of my kids
Before you come at me with pitchforks and fire torches, I should say and I repeat: “I am NOT the Mom of the Year.” If you have read any of my other articles, you would already know that. We tell our kids to “use your words” so it’s only fitting that I use mine. And […]
Dear JC Teacher…
My kids have approximately 20 days of school left in the school year aka 120 hours left with their amazing teachers. And while this may be a reason to celebrate for you, my response is to fall down at your feet and beg for it not to end. I am frantically thinking to myself “Holy […]
Welcome to the Jungle!
“Welcome to the jungle it gets worse here every day. You learn to live like an animal in the jungle where we play” yes, Axl Rose totally pegged any park in this city, a jungle with thousands of little crack-head monkeys. We all know that the weather will eventually warm up and our caged animals […]
Children: The Death of Fine Dining
Clearly, I have temporary amnesia when it comes to taking my kids out to restaurants. It’s sort of the same amnesia that tricked me into going through labor the second time! I am not talking about the kid-themed restaurants where I am convinced that the pizza is laced with crack. I’m talking about restaurants that […]
Why I Am Not Moving to the Burbs
Don’t tell anyone, but I grew up in the suburbs of Long Island. I remember thinking that if I lived there long enough, I would shrivel up and die from boredom. Fast forward to the year 2016, living in Jersey City for 13 years with, dare I say, 2 kids. Granted my kids are too […]